A Letter to My Son

I write letters to my children often. I write them in their baby books so they will have them one day. Recently I wrote one "Letter to My Son" to print off and put in each of their baby books. It is rather long and personal. I want them to have the things I tell them on a regular basis written down so they will always have it and can cherish it. If you don't write letters to your kids, I challenge you to start.


Dear Son,

Never did I think that God would allow me to create something that would make my heart exude joy, compassion, and love. I think the word love is often overused in society, but I’m not talking about surface love; I’m talking deep, I would die for you, unconditional love. The first thing I want you to know is that I love you. Unconditionally. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less. I loved you before you were a fully developed body, before I could feel you move, before I even knew what you looked like, and before I knew what you would become in life. I will always love you.

Before I loved you, I loved your father. And before I loved him, I loved God. God was someone I grew up knowing because my parents introduced me to Him. It wasn’t until I became pregnant with the first one of you that I truly understood the depths of His love for me. God loved me-before I even loved him. He loved me at my darkest. He loved me when no one else would. He loved me when I was unlovable-when I even wore that awful black eye make-up, wore black fingernail polish, when I drove too fast, when I stayed out too late at parties, when I took His name in vain. He loved me through it all. I hope one day you will love Him too, believe in Him, trust Him, and consider Him your everything. Without Him, you cannot truly love yourself, or love others. He IS love. God’s love is the 1st greatest love story there is.

Your relationship with Him is the most important one you will ever have. I hope you honor Him with your life: your words, your actions, your career, your family. Do not get caught up in the religious aspects of Christianity-denominations don’t get you into Heaven. Don’t judge people based on their religion. And, while we are on the subject, don’t judge people at all. Being a Christian is at most times confusing and seems impossible. This life you live will be focused on being “like Christ” so others will know Him. There will be times you doubt and will be at a low point in your life. Doubt. Question. Be skeptical. But know that He will always be there with open arms to hold you and guide you. Turn to His Word and seriously trust in Him.

So, back to Dad. We have the 2nd greatest love story there is. I will spare you the details in this letter but believe me when I say that you will hear me talk about it more than once in your lifetime. I will tell you more times than one because one day you will pursue a woman—the pursuing is your part, yes—and you will court her. Your Dad did exactly that to me. He even pursued me when I was a total jerk to him. He was sensitive to God’s voice in the fact that he knew he was going to marry me. I took a little more convincing. (These are the details I will tell you one day) Even though we do not do everything right, we center our marriage around God and his biblical truths. I hope you see our efforts and learn what to do and what not to do in a marriage. Marriage is hard work. You will have to work at your marriage every day-even when you don’t feel like it or even when you don’t want to. You are a human and you will want to love your spouse conditionally-fight that urge. Love her unconditionally-no. matter.what. Marriage is sacred. Remember this when you are dating and respect it. I pray (a whole whole lot) that you will save yourself for marriage. The bible says “flee” from all sexual immorality. That doesn’t mean flirt with it. That doesn’t mean get close to the cliff. That doesn’t mean some things are acceptable. Get the heck away from it. Stay pure. God wishes this for you and commands you to do this because ultimately, He doesn’t want you to settle. He doesn’t want you to settle for a crappy newlywed life. He doesn’t want you to settle by sneaking around having sex. He doesn’t want you to settle for getting heartbroken and too emotionally attached. He doesn’t want you to settle for having your youth stolen from you. He doesn’t want you to settle because marriage sex is so much better than dating sex. Take my word on this.

Dating. That comes before marriage-sorry I’m getting ahead of myself. Part of me is scared and part of me is excited about this stage of your journey to manhood. You will be able to drive before you will be able to date. That’s just how it is. You will pick a girl up at her house, open all of the doors for her, make eye contact when shaking hands with her parents, listen to her, buy her dinner, star gaze, laugh, and dance anywhere she wants. Even if it is in the parking lot or the pasture-the date is about her. There are dates that will be about you, too. She will walk through Bass Pro Shops with you for hours and will get up early and go deer hunting with you. She will watch football games with you and will go camping with you and your friends. I hope you have fun while finding your soul mate. It is a serious thing, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Go dirt roading. And for all that is good and holy, be romantic. Don’t ever stop being romantic. Society calls this “being cheesy.” Punch society in the face, son.

Before you get married, though, be adventurous. Travel and try new things. You have the rest of your life to share it and provide for a family. Be selfish with your life and learn. This is something I didn’t ever get to do and while I wouldn’t ever trade being a mom and a wife, I wish I wouldn’t have grown up so fast.

Now, I don’t want you to grow up too fast. This is something that I am stubborn about because I want you to stay little and innocent as long as possible. I try not to blink because life just does pass by oh so quickly. I cherish all of your holey jeans, your mismatched socks, your monster trucks, your dirty toilet, your giggles, your loose teeth, your cowboy boots, your spills, your screams, your cries, your sickness, and your curiousness. I relish in these things because I know one day they will be gone and I will miss them. I embrace each stage of life and record it in your baby book and scrapbook all of the pictures of precious moments captured so that nothing will be forgotten. I do have dreams and desires for you, my boy. I want you to be passionate about something. It doesn’t matter what it is and don’t let anyone judge you for what you choose to be passionate about. If it is rodeo, dancing, music, acting, singing, football, figure skating, baseball—whatever it is just find something, do it, and do it well. I want you to cherish education. I say this not because I am a teacher, but because it is the only thing that nobody can take from you. Always learn something and never quit. Do not be ignorant and think that you have learned everything there is to learn. I want you to be independent. Motherhood is weird like that because my job is to raise you only to let you go. I am not looking forward to this but I will do it and do it gracefully. I will push you out of the nest because you are meant to leave me-that’s biblical son-so fly free little birdie. I am not worried about the man you will become because you have an amazing example. It is also my job to teach you how to cook, clean, do the dishes, be resourceful, and how to nurture. These things, even though considered “woman work” are crucial in being a good husband and daddy. Do these things. Without being asked. Just do them.

Know that I thank God for you each day. I know that you are a gift from Him and I know that I am called to be your mother. Even if I am nothing else in this life, I consider my life worth the while just loving you.

“Men are what their mothers made them.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson