You're Worth It

My sister came to visit me today on my birthday just to see me. ME. I honestly felt a little guilty that she would spend one of her days off this way, since on her work days she unselfishly saves lives and all and I feel she deserves spending her free time elsewhere. At the same time, I felt so happy because I knew she would make this day about me and all of my favorite things.  Let’s be honest: when you are a mom and a wife, birthdays are just days. I vacuumed today, made my bed, loaded the dishwasher, cleaned up messes, the mundane tasks I can never get away with ignoring. I even showered AND brushed my teeth AND did my hair AND even put on mascara because on normal days I have to prioritize those things and they aren’t priorities for this momlife I live. I’m even letting my son have two friends spend the night tonight on my day. With my sister here for those hours today, though, someone cared about me.  (Clarification: Blake makes my birthday special but there is just something about my sister coming that made it even more exciting.) 

 

If you know my sister, you know there are these things about her that are endearing. She is passionate about certain things and when she talks about those things her eyes light up. She will probably apologize about talking too much also, but that is something that you just have to get used to with her. I don’t mean that to sound bad, but when she gets on a topic she just doesn’t quit talking and you don’t really want her to either. Today, it was the conversation about healing and faith that just had me sitting there admiring my little sister. She told me story after story about what God has been doing in her life and things he has been revealing to her through Himself and other people.  She thought she sounded crazy sometimes (and the girl in Orange Leaf probably thought we were crazy but who cares) but she didn’t sound crazy to me. I covet her stories and the people she knows sometimes. She told me story after story of healing that she had heard or witnessed.  She told me that she, like myself, have questioned the line between faith and healing and the lack of dependence on the Holy Spirit sometimes.  She told me her thoughts about her sweet friend that has cancer and let me read encouraging texts from people that she wished were her first thoughts too.  We are alike, Kenz and I—even when we are so different. I feel like we know so much yet have barely scratched the surface with our faith. It is so cliché but we have been through so much in our lives and sometimes I can’t believe where we are, but I know it is only by the grace of God. Mackenzie uses her past experiences and transforms them into good work for the Lord.  All of the trauma she has been through would make anyone else give up. Not her. She always surprises me with her ambition to do more and learn more.  She also has this capacity to love people and she is one of the only people that I know that is so real and raw that I don’t feel like I have to hide my true colors because she will love me anyway.

 

Anyways, I could go on and on but the thing that stuck out to me most today was when she left. She hugged me and threatened me to not cry even though she said she might…I thanked her for coming and she said You’re worth it. Gasp. How many times do I not feel like that as a child of God, as a person, as a mom, as a wife, as a friend?  I see Jesus when I look at my sister and I know this is an affirmation I needed to hear today. She also told me to not grow weary and I needed that reminder too.  (I felt so worth it, I even finally wrote a blog today amidst the chaos of my house!) I am so thankful for her. Love you, Kenz.